People love politics, and because of this I feel like adding this paragraph preface after I already posted is necessary: the reality that Christ decided to pop up and move around furniture in my Darwinist, borderline-spiritually-apathetic life is beyond me. The gospel “clicked” for me a year ago, despite my 3-year long prior draw. And even though daily scripture consumption has provided a world of truth, hurt, exhortation, terribly low expectations out of humanity, and a potential chew toy for my inherent cynicism, it has been accompanied by this American “Evangelical” stigma of church politics that I’m always late to the party for. I have no left or right wing *yet* simply because I only care about what scripture says, not about that someone’s childhood church did when they were growing up. Seeing that this entry has a lot to do with worship music, which is an odd area that – through observation – countless Christians divide themselves over, I want to say this: In my 4 years of “church experience” (what is that?) I’ve sang worship a capella, to an organ alone, to contemporary rock, as well as to Jazz (I attended an awesome church in NYC called Redeemer Presbyterian Church and got to experience that for the first time. Check it out under the “Resources” tab). I don’t have a preference or bent. I wasn’t raised on one so, frankly, I don’t care. Jesus was in all of them, which made it easy to worship. Before I piss people off, I’ll stop prefacing and get into it.

If you’re looking for a passionate plea for a “new” type of Contemporary Christian Music (CCM), you are not going to find it here. If you are looking for a thoroughly organized complaint about how droll or vanilla CCM can be, you will also not find it here. That is not what this is about. This is about the painful, slowing and recessive sting of traditionalism making its footprint in culture and driving a dagger into the heart of something I almost love as much as graphic design: music. It’s actually a draw in regards to appreciation, but graphic design (and most fine arts) definitely win in regards to my love for creation. At any rate, the topic I am about to present is an open forum and it has been plaguing my thoughts for the longest time.

The title of this entry was originally going to be “A call to worship leaders from a layperson who isn’t really a musician, but makes a lot of music and knows a lot of them and can relate to them as artists and has some questions and comments about the art form that it really is.” It was clearly too long of a title. Don’t misinterpret the preface for this essay. It’s not really a complaint or even a theological exhortation. This essay is getting more at the craft of worship leading than the theology behind it. I know that they seem to be inseparable, so let me attempt to unpack this well.

An Old Chinese Man’s Mistake
One of the first churches I ever went to after Jesus flipped my whole life upside down was this small Chinese church tucked away in this back road of my hometown. It was just a visit. And even if it were a real candidate, I think it would have become just a visit anyway. I don’t remember everything that the pastor was talking about. I was about 18 or so and a lot of my brain didn’t follow what he was preaching, but I remember him making the most random tangent into how much of a massacre young Christians are making of “the worship music of today.” Now, I knew nothing of church politics or the cultural Christianity that would soon annoy the hell out of me, but I remember these words:

“Electric guitars are sinful.”

Yeah, he said it. I thought it was funny. He also went on explaining that the grand piano and organ are the truly legitimate means of facilitating worship with God. It’s interesting because I can dismiss his frail, dated, unbiblical, and ignorant argument in two fashions. On one end, I don’t even have to open a bible; the guy didn’t even mention the capacity of the Holy Spirit within the context of worship which is just unhelpful. God’s grace through his gifted Holy Spirit is our means of communication with the father (Mark 13:11). An exposition on “holy musical instruments” is hardly meaningful to anyone. Another fashion is if I actually did open the bible. Saving the scripture that reveals the power of the Holy Spirit until the end, I could just open up to Psalm 33:2, Psalm 43:4, and Psalm 81:2.

“Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!”

“Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.”

“Raise a song; sound the tambourine, the sweet lyre with the harp.”

Even if we wanted to play it safe and stick exclusively to the instruments that were mentioned in scripture, our outlets of praise would definitely be a six-stringed instrument like a guitar. And there could even be a tambourine for those worship leaders who don’t play a real instrument. Nowhere in scripture is an organ or grand piano mentioned, therefore making biblical and holy worship of God not bound by these instruments. If you’re going to be a conservative bigot, at least read the book you claim to be conservative to.

The Heart of The City’s Music
That last anecdote had a purpose that I will revisit later. I started thinking about worship music while in the car with one of my worship-leading friends a month ago. I think I’ve only mentioned it once, but let me just echo that I am a serious fan of the way that Mars Hill and The Resurgence have been “doing” ministry in the city of Seattle. In a world of neutered church boys who make a big deal about having a cuss-free, censored mouth instead of investing the spirit into repenting from a prideful tongue, Mark Driscoll is a fresh, masculine wake-up call to tradition. Further, the city community has been a serious mission field on my heart and mind lately and I can understand why new culture always seems to ripple out from there. As a graphic designer, I’ve come to the conclusion that significant growth for me just isn’t going to happen if I don’t leave the suburban town I’m in and head south to Philly. Frankly, the white picket fences, Honda Odysseys, and sub-engaging conversations about baby strollers have all left me on the cusp of vomiting and I’m pretty excited about changing gears to the city of Philadelphia. In urban places where no single day could ever be the same, I can see how churches like Mars Hill truly seem like this growing organism of new, doctrinally-sound perspectives and vibrant, rooted arts.

Mars Hill recently had their Good Friday service and broadcasted it live on their website. It was simply amazing, and what I loved about it the most was the Grunge-inspired worship music. Of course, no single church’s worship music is meant to be the model for every other one, but – being located in the city of Seattle which is where legendary grunge bands like Nirvana were born – it makes perfect sense as to why Mars Hill’s worship reflects that culture. I was raised on grunge ever since I was a kid. I grew up on Nirvana, The Pixies, Smashing Pumpkins (Currently looping “1979″), Mother Love Bone, Hole, and Soundgarden. That’s all my older sister really listened to and I fell in love the moment I heard it.  Of course I eventually had to throw my cassette tapes away and adopt the iTunes versions. But in regards to worship, it’s only natural that I jump for joy at the idea of worship music to God in the musical language I know best. As I was jamming to Mars Hill’s Chad Gardner and Christian Grunge band Red Letter, amongst the long distorted guitar strums and electronic garble, my worship leader bud couldn’t refrain from saying “I don’t understand how people could worship to this. It’s sounds so gimmicky.”

There are so many things going on in this statement. Many of which come from a close-minded indoctrination into what music is and what worship is. Somehow, I don’t think that I can cover everything in one entry. Especially not without being well-read on specific subjects. Because of this, I will be frank about what I do understand about this position. My friend and I didn’t really have an argument over this. On the contrary, I stated to him what I’m sorta restating and building upon here and we agreed on the final conclusion. For the worship leaders or musicians out there, I pose this question:

How do you approach worship music?

Does the music have a quality that you can quantify? Well of course it does. The sound quality and price tag of the equipment used can all be quantified. Can the genre be quantified? These are all open-forum questions. The first thing to understand about worship music, within the context of my conversation with my friend in particular, is that Mars Hill Church is not like the churches we are familiar with. This has nothing to do with the style or the arts at all. Just speaking membership, we have a church that was placed in the least Christian-populated city in America. There were more dogs than there were Christians when Mars Hill started. Mars Hill’s typical new member was a new Christian, not some Christian who changed churches because they got a new job in a new location, or just had a kid and needed a church with a better daycare center. New talent came from the hearts and minds Seattle-bred residents who probably weren’t raised in a church. In the worship department, this most likely consisted of bands and musical artists who were probably engaging whatever post-modern, grunge-inspired music would look like at the time. These new converts aren’t thinking like suburban PK’s who picked up the guitar to sing Chris Tomlin to the congregation. There is no gimmick-scale. Christian radio and Evangelicalism aren’t determining jack for them. In many cases, these are real musicians who decided to point their talents to the sky. How do people worship to this? Easy. This is how people in that situation were meant to worship.

There are two subtopics that branch from this one topic that I think a lot about:

Based solely on years of observation, to the suburban-church-kid-turned-adult, something that is musically different is perceived as something that is “too much,” as if it were an addition to something that was already there. Is there something overwhelmingly seizure-inducing and “distracting” about this music to me? No. From the perspective of someone who was raised on grunge, I’d like to say on a completely opposite note that there is nothing “super-crazy-innovative” about the music itself either. It’s grunge music. Within the context of it’s genre, it’s just what it is. There’s nothing gimmicky about it at all. It does was the genre says it will do for most of the time. It is excellent music. Excellent. Red Letter’s album is amazing and it even goes bluesy for a few tracks. It is most definitely my favorite Christian album ever. But they’re not selling a new brand of worship. They’re being who they are. And what that is is amazing musicians.

The other subtopic is more like an unanswered question. All the worship leaders I know are people who, on any other occasion, would not be musicians and may not even be playing their instrument as often as they do while they serve. As a ministry media director/graphic designer dude, I was really an artist before anything else. When God saved me, I was now an artist who focused his energies within the church as well as outside of it; on any other occasion I would be honing my craft as much as I do now. If I were to compare myself to the high school Photoshop wonder-kid who only applied his Google-tutorial graphic design to his church and nothing more, I wonder how different we’d think about art. I wonder how different worship might look if one of my experienced music major friends led a worship team. I wonder how that approach to the craft of music alone would intertwine with worship. I’m not really getting at anything, nor am I insinuating that one type of artist is more appropriate than another. If anything, I’m posing a question more about our craft, technique, and theory more than our theology or spirituality.

With the resurgence of reformed theology among college youth and most young adults (at least in the areas that I dwell in NY, NJ, and PA) it seems like a handful of worship leaders have become semi-professionals at giving people what they want, while preserving the doctrinal integrity of scripture. You can’t argue with that at all. It beats the hell out of terrible worship with unbiblical or misleading lyrics. And it also beats the hell out of terrible music. There’s nothing wrong with that. What I’m trying to stir here is difficult to describe, primarly because what I’m getting at is the inner drive of a musical leader that probably cannot be quantified. Here’s a question I am sure most worship leaders are not asked, but should be asked:

Where are you going with your music?

You have taken a responsibility that holds hands with a world of creative direction. Have you bottlenecked it to capital letters that sit below lyrics on a worship sheet? Are you waiting for your iPod to tell you what to do? And this isn’t a direct shot at people who love Hillsong or other poppy Christian music. You can be a straightlaced Westminster graduate who only feeds off of whatever Sovereign Grace Ministries puts out. Same chemistry problem, different elements. Do you really want that to be it? Sure, depth is found in the “Worship” side of it, but that’s only 50% of what your trade’s title assumes. You want to know what biblical worship is? Read Romans 12:1. Do you make your own music? You don’t have to, but would it help you to? Once again, this isn’t a plea. These are just questions I’m asking as an artist to other artists. It would be weird to consider yourself a worship leader and not an artist. You’re not a CD Player up there when you’re doing worship, so you’re an artist in some way.

So what is this all about?
You’re not constrained by what DC Talk did. You don’t have to play it safe. You also don’t have to and probably shouldn’t go crazy-wild either. Music has been around for a very long time. There are so many genres in front of you. It doesn’t have to be anything. It doesn’t have to not be what everybody is familiar with either. If Star 99.1 musically reaches out to your upper-middle class suburban mid-20′s newlyweds then go for it. God will be there and it will be a party. But know that music did not start in 1995 with Jars of Clay. Don’t be stuck up like some of our last generation was. Just like how organs aren’t the extent of how people worship musically, neither are delay pedals and 90% reverb on your voice. Instead of being a lofty traditionalist, a lot of people are just becoming lofty modernists with Contemporary Christian Music. There is no gauge of creativity and innovation. I guarantee you that you will probably never come up with something that people haven’t heard before. I don’t see the correlation between worship music being more hedonistic through it sounding less like 90′s U2 and whatever else you would typically hear on Christian radio stylistically. Delay pedals and reverb are not the cap of what “we” can do. It’s just a style. There’s nothing beyond it or before it. Stop looking at art so linear. Do your missiology research surrounding your community and the people who are attending your congregation. You’re a worship leader; love and explore music.

That came off like a rant, but I’m really not annoyed by anything. Lately, I love the worship in my church. My worship-leadin’ partner in crime, Tim Shin, has been keeping his ears open. He’s still trying to figure things out, like I am with my art. And I think doing things like removing the linear approach to music that many church kids may have been raised in or indoctrinated into could quite possibly lift the chains of … stupidity.

I think it was only a couple of months ago when the Apple website and iTunes were boasting breaking their 100,000 mark for iPhone applications available for download. It’s a bit overwhelming when one thinks about it. As a developer, the first thing that I think about is the amount of monthly fees Apple is collecting from each company and individual who managed to get their application approved and hosted for download on the iTunes Application Store. You pay a pretty penny to get Apple to back you on a monthly basis, not to mention the grueling hours invested in learning Cocoa. This is besides the point.

One could only imagine that 100,000 apps is too much. You can never have too many resources available to you, but, realistically, one wouldn’t download them all! Studies show that, on average, a person will download an application they see and within two days will either delete it or cease from ever launching the application ever again. We have such short attention spans. Typical Americans, right? This doesn’t surprise me.

I can really only see a single person using a small handful of applications frequently. I’m a reasonably average, tech-savvy twenty-something and have owned an iPhone for about three years now. I decided to compile a “Top Ten” of apps that I find extremely resourceful. Though I have about 5 or 6 more applications than these, those applications cater to my personal preference in entertainment. The applications that I’m sharing here will hopefully make your daily life more efficient. Let’s go:

Let’s put this application under the “Helpful on the road” section. I’m a spur-of-the-moment type of person; if I crave a specific food or remember that I needed to purchase something, I like to get it done right then and there with little interruption. Within 5 minutes of reaching my destination on the road, I had a random urge for Chinese food from a specific, venerated restaurant. I hadn’t the slightest clue what town I was in, nor any information about the restaurant other than the fact that it was called “Hong Kong Pearl” and that it was within 10 minutes of where I was.

I launched the app and, with its almost-flawless voice-recognition utility, said “Hong Kong Pearl nearby.” In a 3G second, three things appeared in front of me: my restaurant’s address, a button which would call them so that I could place my order, and a button that would give me turn-by-turn directions via my Google Maps app. This application has also proven useful when I’m gunning on the highway and want a Best Buy price check on an item to determine if I should make a pit stop or wait for a better deal on New Egg.

Dragon Dictation was featured on Gizmodo as a convenient utility and also as a temporary freebie. Knowing that the price tag would change, I decided to download first and ask questions later. It operates like the Google App in regards to its impeccable voice-recognition software. In regards to functionality, it is also similar to the Google App because it is something that may save your life on the road. I’ve seen two people get hit by drivers who were texting in their car. Texting while driving is incredibly stupid. However, sometimes one gets anxious and needs to reply to something immediately. This app provides a neat alternative to typing.

You launch the app and you’re immediately greeted with a red circular record button. Once you hit it, start talking. It will transcribe everything you say once you finish speaking. From there, you can launch your SMS or Email application from within the app and paste the transcribed text for sending. Further, if you’re using the text for a completely different app, you can just copy the text to your clipboard. Hopefully the likelihood of putting someone in danger through hitting the “Send” button won’t be as high as typing that paragraph of wrath on your phone after finding out that your girlfriend dumped you via text message.

There are literally hundreds of Dictionary applications on the app store. My guess is that the first thing these developers learned was how to build a search database. So the result is a million apps that all do basically the same thing. The most stable, best designed, and ad-light Dictionary app is “Dictionary!” (with the explanation point). This is the best free one anyway. If you want to pay for information you can get free in your Safari web browser, be my guest.

Anyone with an iPhone and a web identity probably has a Twitter account. I have a friend who phrases his opinion of Twitter like this: “I don’t feel that I am important enough yet to have a Twitter.” I agree, but also retort by arguing that the most beneficial aspect of Twitter is missed if you feel that it is another outlet for publishing how you feel and what you are doing. It is an amazing news ticker and great means of subscribing to your favorite news shows, websites, blogs, and local restaurants. Many restaurants and book publishers have gotten on the Twitter train to offer amazing deals and discounts on their goods exclusively for people in the Twitterverse. I can’t say that I follow any more than about 5 of my friends. The rest are businesses, ministries, and great leaders with insightful things to say. Following people such as John Piper or Matt Chandler is always encouraging. Maybe you have what I like to call “Little Pipers,” which are friends who always have super-deep, spiritual things to tweet about, but never actually speak like that or act as mystical in person. Either way, it never hurts to be intrigued, even if it’s for a laugh.

Oh yeah, about the app. It’s the best free one out there. Surveys say that “Tweetie” is the best, but the user interface is extremely dull, not as customizable, and not very innovative. This app has a beautiful and convenient 3-column view that lets you flick through your main Twitter feed, just your “@” reply’s, and your direct messages. You can even add a fourth column for your Facebook statuses. The app integrates with photo upload services, uploads very fast on 3G as well as Edge, and also integrates with the Bit.ly link-shortening service. It’s everything you will need in one app. You can also change the UI skin. Did I mention there are no ads?

Last.fm is an amazing online-radio service. Type in your favorite artist, and it will generate your own personal radio station consisting of your artist and lots of other artists who play similar music. The algorithms used to generate these stations are extremely sophisticated and have never failed me. The Pandora app has a similar function. Don’t like a song in the playlist? Just hit the “Hate” button and it will remove all songs like it, from within the songs it has already chosen. The more you use it, the more awesome bands and artists you begin to run into as the service gets a better idea of what type of stuff you’re into. This is great if you have a Bose SoundDock or any type of iPod speaker dock.

So you and your friends are hungry. Or maybe you’re a lone-wolf, yearning for some grub; you want to go somewhere Mexican nearby and spend about $10 total on food, but you’re far from home and don’t know your area too well. Maybe you do and you’d like to be surprised. This app makes it simple enough to plug in all of those variables and get back a list of restaurants worth a try. The best part about this service, besides its ease of use and perfect library, is the customer reviews. Though there are many apps like this, Yelp is an established service independent of the iPhone and it has a decent amount of reviews. Another great little function is the “Monocle”; if you have an iPhone 3GS with the compass functionality, the app will use your iPhone’s camera and put an augmented reality overlay of where your local restaurants are. Something similar to a quest guide arrow in World of Warcraft. But that was a long time ago, guys. Seriously. I’m grown now.

You’re in a restaurant. Oh my God. That song from the early 90′s that you used to rock out to with your older sibling just came on. There was no Napster or iTunes back then, so you never thought about running a search and getting the song for yourself. What’s that songs name!? Instead of trying to guess the name by piecing together phrases in the chorus, run this app and let it listen to a 10-second snippet of the song. It will find the song title and artist name for you. It will even link you to an outlet for purchasing it. Not near the song? Did it end before you had a chance to pull your phone out? Just sing it. Can’t sing it? Just hum it. This is the year 2010 people. This should be commonplace technology.

How aggressive does one have to be with store merchandise to rip the price tag off? How immature does one have to be to not put the merch back in the place where it was? Simple solution. Boot this app up and use your iPhone camera as a bar code scanner. Maybe you’re on a hunt for the best price. Yeah, I get frugal like that too. We should be regardless because, hey, this money isn’t ours anyway. If you scan the bar code of the item that you would like to purchase, it will give you the retail price, as well as the price from stores in your region via GPS, and online. What else do you need? I know. Nothing.

I wish I were creative enough to come up with an app idea such as this. So you’re in the movie theater and you have to pee. Who wants to leave Avatar right in the middle of the movie? Well if you’re Mark Driscoll, you left a long time ago. But regardless, no one wants to kill their engagement or miss an important part of a movie because of their bladder. So they hold it. With this app, you don’t have to. This app will tell you which part of the movie is anti-climactic enough to leave, and while you’re out relieving yourself it will tell you what exactly is happening during your absence. Problem solved.

Dropbox might not get very frequent use, but it’s nice for it to be there. In order for it to be really useful, you have to integrate the service into your lifestyle. It operates a lot like MobileMe, where it will give you a designated amount of web space for you to put whatever you’d like and share between however many computers you need. Folks nowadays call it the “Cloud.” Dropbox has an app for both Mac and Windows that mounts this cloud onto your computer via a folder on your desktop just like any other folder. I’m a graphic designer, so I do some work on my laptop, some work in the classroom, and some work on my PC. With my dropbox folder, I can put whatever I want in my cloud and access it from any computer. No worries about having the file in the wrong place. With my iPhone, if I take a photo or a video that I want to share, I can upload directly from my iPhone. Further, if I have an image, PDF, Word document, or the like in my cloud, I can view it on my iPhone if I find it extremely necessary.

That about sums it up. My other apps are of personal interest, such as Engadget, IGN, and Cooking Mama. Happy downloading/iPhone coveting.

I haven’t any scripture to ground this recurring realization of mine in, but there’s one truth that never ceases to expose me and, often times, the folks around me: the qualities you hate most in people (or a person in particular) are typically the imperfections you personally struggle or have struggled with the most.

We are always on the verge of hypocrisy if we haven’t already unsheathed the measuring stick to crack against our brothers’ knees. For scripture reveals:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:1-5

After about a year or two of peculiar rebellion against taking up scripture reading as an imperative activity (or as an activity at all) since being renewed in Christ, the gospels have been a great source of clarity. Best thing about reading them a second and third time is that you realized that you missed a lot the last time you read it. There are two unavoidable responses to this bit in Matthew:

Fear: The measuring stick that we put up against our brothers to follow will be used against us in our judgment (verse 1, and it’s repeated another way in Romans 2:3). This is not to say that we should not have growth-driven expectations of each other as brothers, or that we should not hold and use the holy standards of scripture to help one another and hold each other accountable. It is, however, a response to the man who in arrogant, narcissistic, pomp bitterness tears his brother apart in his mind and in action without ever properly confronting Him. This doesn’t always have to manifest itself in harsh, guilt-inducing language from one man to another (which it rarely even does).

Rather than speaking one-on-one with someone you’d lovingly and seriously like to see grow, you slip a slightly biting critique of the person’s character into a conversation with others. Or you indirectly drop comments and personality insults on your Facebook status and blog. Even worse: you use scripture in an unhelpful way. I know this sounds weird, for scripture is authoritative and always profitable for teaching. But throwing it in passing at someone who is obviously internally hurting, rather than compassionately discipling and revealing the healing guidance of God’s word is wicked. I’d say it’s like dark arts for a persons heart if you’re solely using it to slam a person.

Conviction: I am as guilty as my brother. As a matter of fact, because of the shear reality that I am inside of my own sinful mind 24/7, I should see myself as the guiltiest of all men. I’m selfish to the core, and even in my attempt to seek pure motives in the things I do, the bitter taste of legalism eggs me on to find my breath of fresh air in self-righteousness as I attempt to emulate selflessness (That may nor may not make complete sense to everyone).

For some reason, we feel entitled to being friends with perfect people.  We expect to be around people who won’t let us down when we need them, won’t miss things when we need them there, and won’t wrong us despite practically knowing exactly how our brains operate. Our fallenness has left us afflicted and needy. And unfortunately it’s more relaxing to raise our arms to point the finger than open our eyes to the reality that we all suffer from the same disease. I know our fathers weren’t all Jesus Christ, and maybe that’s why with the invitation we have to be His children, we should risk letting our pride take the fall (because it’s inevitable regardless), accept Him as our real God, and release our friends from being our functional God. The reason is because people make terrible Gods. They perish. And they’re definitely not built for it. I’m preaching to myself right now because I made the terrible mistake as a new Christian of thinking that Christian mentors are meant to be looked up to as Christ in the flesh.

There’s a song by a great band named “As Tall As Lions.” It’s a great arrangement, though it’s a song preaching atheism. The lead singer belts out, “Can’t you see it’s better to die on your feet than live down on your knees?” It’s quite a thought-provoking lyric. The only problem is that we don’t have a choice in the matter; we will always be living down on our knees. The question is “For what exactly?” Our joys and emotions will always be held captive to whatever we hold in high regard and the harsh reality is that we do try to make these things our God. A person’s wrongful action could send your heart into an unending downward spiral if you invest that much faith in them. It’s not difficult. Understand we were not made for this.

The common response to these verses in Matthew is that we almost don’t have the right to pass any type of judgment upon anyone in the church because we have our own sins. What a terrible miscommunication. This falls into complete opposition to scripture where it states:

For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?
1 Corinthians 5:12

If we completely abort any sort of discernment, there is no forward mobility for inner change in any member of the church. As a church, we ultimately just become charity-oriented people, with a full comprehension of the crying outside the door, but no concern for our fallen nature, need for accountability, and direction towards spiritual transformation. We become self-righteous, in a “tolerant” and accepting sort-of way. I know that seems weird to hear. But I see it all the time. How are they self-righteous? In communities like this, there isn’t hate or judgment towards the prostitute or the tax-collector; everyone understands that they have “their own sins” and that they have “no right to judge.” As a result, the people who receive the hate and judgment are those who attempt to reach for the heart and preach repentance.

I’m more sinful than I could ever imagine. And the worst thing about it is that I have to stick around to find out.

I thought about that yesterday in my random, displaced times of reflection and sighed. I’m not a good man by a long shot. Sometimes, it seems difficult enough viewing myself as so. There’s always a wild circus of  shenanigans in my head and when I get a chance to remember that the air I breathe was a gift from the Creator, I survey my barren heart and think: “Is it too late for me?”

“Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”
Romans 14:23

Oh, alright. Faith is a resourceful thing to have. Especially when you’re at odds and logic doesn’t give you the way out that you think you should take. It’s in the heart, right? If I believe from deep within myself that something is right, then it has to be an automatic fruit of faith; it has to be right. Right?

“All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” Mark 7:23

What? I can’t trust my heart? What am I then? Why even try to crawl if I’m only moving backwards? Am I not safe in my own skin?

“I know that no good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh”
Romans 7:18

I’m in a wavering state right now. Sometimes, the reality of God’s breath on my brittle soul is so warm and real that I can see the horror of my rebellion against him. I see myself in action, I comprehend why, and I get a glimpse of the actual offense I commit against myself, my Father, and the people whom I’m called to lead. Other days, I just don’t. That day is today. These are the days when my very skin likes to have a field day with my heart and allow me to forget about the life I yearn to live, the transformation I dream to experience, the people I desire to love, and the past I can’t wait to leave. I usually give in. Today doesn’t feel especially magical, though my firm stance at the foot of the cross despite the temptation to leave doesn’t feel like legalistic white-knuckling: it feels like I’m patiently waiting for something.

I’m waiting for God to lift me in His arms. No purity is in my flesh? Fine. All the more reason to rejoice in the God who loves me and lifted a man off of his feet to show him the framework of His creation. My life is a mess. And yeah, my ankle-joint jitters as I wait for a period of clarity and refinement in this life. So maybe I just need to kneel. I know that y’all out in interweb land have back-pains too. Let’s stand together.

One of my closest friends retorted my initial comment on my sinfulness with this: “You are more loved than you ever dared hope, and the best thing about it is that you get to stick around and find out.”

Be careful when you think to yourself and throw words around. “Broken” has become a word that evangelicals throw around a lot. Lovers of God professing “I’m broken, you’re broken, we’re all broken!” It is true. Man is fallen beyond all recognition – literally. We are, in a sense, broken. But living inside of those who comprehend and look to the Holy sacrifice of Jesus Christ have something inside of them that isn’t: The Holy Spirit. He isn’t broken. And even he breaks us. But not in the sense of failure and inadequacy. No, he breaks us in; more like a pair of fresh new tennis shoes, so that we might become stronger and more weather-resistant to the atom-piercing force known as life. Paul admitted that he had a thorn in his side; that his flesh was constantly at war with his spirit. And it’s by Christ’s sacrifice for our lives and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit that he endured and “ran the race.”

Falling to sin can’t be our destiny, and perfection will not come until our God brings it on that day. So until then, make it a war.

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Synergism (n) - The idea that two people working together can accomplish more than the same two people working by themselves.

Evidences of spiritual syngergism in the New Testament:

• Friends should admonish one another
  “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)
• Friends should encourage one another
  “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13)
• Friends should feel comfortable and engage in sharing their most shameful problems/shortcomings (sins)
  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16)
• Friends should bear each other’s burdens
  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
• Friends should pray for each other
  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16)

We need at least one other person of like heart to pray with us, encourage us, and, if necessary, admonish us. This person must be someone who is also involved in the struggle to mortify sin in his or her own life, so that he ot she can enter into our struggles and not be scandalized by the nature of our deepest sins. It is said that the Puritans used to ask God for one “bosom friend” with whom they could share absolutely everything. This is the type of friend we should also pray for and seek out to help us in our struggle to mortify sin in our lives.

Jerry Bridges, The Discipline of Grace

It’s interesting being back at home: having the opportunity to see my old comrades and how they’ve changed, or perhaps how they haven’t changed at all. Working in Rockefeller Center has been another interesting experience as well. I get to people-watch as I walk the streets and ride the subways of the city.

My thoughts tick along as I watch couples go by hand-in-hand, eavesdrop on friends arguing, observe the tourists converse in unfamiliar tongues, and examine the lights and billboards since I’m an artist after all. It really fills one’s mind up just thinking about people…thinking about what we strive for. If you’re holding up a cardboard sign..then instead, wondering what you truly hunger for. What brings you dignity? What brings me dignity? Am I even entitled to any dignity? Where did I get this sense of entitlement from!?

And then I miss my chance to cross the street.

So many people in this big city. So many bodies moving around so close together, with the biggest fear in everyone’s eyes and hearts to look around. I hand off a $5 foot-long sub to an absolutely downcast, dirty girl with a cardboard sign that could break any man’s heart and I am completely petrified of engaging in any type of conversation with her deeper than “Interested in a late lunch? Okay, bye!”

And I’m back to worrying about my image at the office. There’s so much going on in this city and at the same time nothing at all. Even at home, there are so many people I know in my vicinity, but the phone calls outside are hollow. Scripture has my answers in there, somewhere.

An intriguing find:

“Too many Christians today are seeking to live for the Lord on the basis of the principle of love. Their thinking is this, ‘He loved me and gave Himself for me, therefore the least I can do is love Him and give myself for Him.’ Such a motivation is good, high, and altruistic; but it is neither the best nor the highest, nor is it spiritual. Our love is far too weak and vacillating for such an undertaking. Self will see to that!

‘For to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not…for I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members….bringing me into captivity to the law of sin’ (Rom. 7:18, 22, 23)

There is only one true and adequate motivating power for living the Christian life, and that is the very life of the Lord Jesus – ministered within by the Spirit of Life Himself. This is not a motivation of love, but the empowerment of life. ‘For to me to live is Christ’ (Phil. 1:21) It is not, ‘Only what is done for Christ will last,’ but rather, ‘Only what is done by Christ will last.’”

Miles J. Stanford, The Complete Green Letters (p. 215)

Taken from Nick Bogardus, a brother overseas in Mongolia.

I’ve been living overseas for a year and two months now.  One of the unique aspects of being abroad is being outside of the din of American life.  This perspective, in a way, is like one of those Wordle maps.  You start to hear how often and in how many places a concept or word is being used.  If I could say that there was one concept that I’ve noticed being constantly pounded upon in Christian podcasts, blogs, books, and articles, the largest phrase in the 2008-2009 Christian vocabulary Wordle would be “The Kingdom of God”.  Somewhere in the midrange frequency font size would be some form of “cultural renewal” or “redeeming culture”.There is a lot we could say about this – particularly involving the pendulum swing of trends – but I want to narrow the focus to a question that Christianity Today asked yesterday.  The writer, Ted Olsen, asked, “A question for Christian leaders (whether in the church or elsewhere): have you found the recent Christian emphasis on “building for the kingdom” and cultural renewal to detract from evangelism? Or is it actually helping to “reach souls”?”

My answer to that is that yes, I do believe the current emphasis to be a hindrance to evangelism.

Overwhelmingly, when I listen to a sermon, or read an article or blog about the Kingdom of God it is essentially a Gospel-less social gospel.  It is about what we need to be doing.  It tends to use Jesus’ statements in Luke 4 or Matthew 5 about going to the poor, captives, blind, and oppressed as a mandate to the exclusion of other large sections of scripture.  It is exhortation after exhortation to be busy – “we must make heaven on earth now!”.  There are trumpeting exclamations for ‘movements’ and ‘revolutions’.  There is rarely mention of the cross or of our need for a Savior because it usually focuses on Jesus as our example at the expense of both Jesus as our Savior and Jesus the reigning King.  The end result of this is moralistic social gospel instead of Gospel-centered living.

What that kind of preaching, writing, blogging, believing does is 1) make prideful Pharisees if people are really active, 2) burn those people out eventually, or 3) completely demotivate those who aren’t active.  Part of the ubiquitous babel of American culture are celebrity-endorsed humanitarian campaigns.  We have to save Darfur, Rwanda, the ice caps, adopt children from around the world, end sweatshops, and so on and so on.  If we’re left with a ‘deeds not creeds’ moralism absent of the Gospel, how is the church’s call any different?

Being busy doesn’t change hearts.  Only the Gospel can do that.

Christians like to look at the early church and at their radical generosity and the way they lived counter-culturally.  But did they do that because they were told that was what they must do?  Did they do that because they were goaded into it?  Or did they do it because of the radical nature of the Gospel compelled them to?

In Acts 2 Peter explains to the Jews why the Holy Spirit that was promised in the Old Testament (16-21) has been poured out on the disciples (33); because the Messiah promised in the Old Testament (25-31) was Jesus who proved Himself through miracles (22), was crucified (36), resurrected from the dead (32), and exalted to the right hand of God (33).  Additionally, all of this was done according to God’s definite plan and foreknowledge. (23)  Here is Peter presenting the Gospel in a similar way to Jesus in Luke 24 and Paul in 1 Corinthians 15.

The crowd then asked Peter what they must do.  Peter’s response?

“Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (38)  Three thousand became Christians that day.

The next paragraph is the section about the radical generosity of the believers.  What is the first thing it says they did?  Devoted themselves to the apostles teaching. (42)  The teaching wasn’t “go and do all of these things you must do now”.  It was as Peter just explained.  God planned this, Jesus died and rose for your sins, and you are saved by grace (39); so repent.  It was this message that compelled the early Christians to such a radically generous lifestyle.

In conclusion, yes, I do think that the current overemphasis on “Kingdom building” is a hinderance to evangelism because it plays into our innate American pragmatism of action and results.  Ultimately, this kind of gospel makes too much of what we do, too little of what God has done, and if that imbalance exists, why tell anyone about Him?  If the Gospel is not preached and hearts aren’t changed – in other words, if evangelism (and discipleship) aren’t happening within the church – it makes sense that it wouldn’t happen outside as well.

[For a great message on a very related topic, listen to Ajith Fernando's recent talk at The Gospel Coalition's 2009 conference.]